Spam? Really? Wtf... people still eat that crap? People still open the can, get a whiff of what can only be described as Alpo ground together with an ounce of rancid ass, and put it in their mouths ANYWAY? Willingly?!? *crawls off, finds cave, quits society*
*next person claims Spam to be "zzzzamazing", but there was a noticable lack of exclamation points or any other indication of enthusiasm. Maybe that's what the zzzz's were for... but I'd be more likely to interpret that as a warning that the Spam was laced with chloroform, and now someone's taking a nap face-first in their plate of... some kind of substance.*
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big pseudo-food fan myself. *flails pom poms* GO TACO BELL!!! *gimme all the letters at once and I'll spell it FAST!* But Spam... I dunno. For one, food that stays the shape of it's container is just not right. Two, I heard it has pig taint in it. And third, it smells like decomposing armpits. (At least it did the last time I smelled it, I hear they're adding spices and whatnot to mask the taint musk now, I dunno.) To each their own and all that. Bright side: You can floss out the thicker bits of that jizz-like outer coating with the pig pubes that got missed during the de-tainting and shaving pre-packaging prep! :D *scampers off to nom something harmless... like... shirts...*
Victoria: Thinks Ashley is funny.
Michelle: Thinks Ashley is slightly confusing.
Bj: SPAM IS A SHAPE???
Becky: Will never eat Spam after Ashley's speech. Didn't eat it before anyway.
Aww! Thanks Victoria! :D Michelle, I'm sorry. What was confusing? I'll explain if I can, but if you need me to find you some pig taint pics, I'll sure try if that will help. :D Yes, Bj, if you flip the can over and bang it out, you get a Meat Product Rectangle, which, much like the Square Burger Patty from Wendy's, is not a Shape That Meat Should Be. :D Becky, I'm glad I could open your eyes to the horror of the swine perineum. I'm so happy to hear that you've never been there. It is not a pleasant place. :D
*Shawn claims he doesn't need my speech, he's got this!*
Don't need my speech? Fine, be that way. Speech doesn't need you either. *comforts heartbroken Speech with bowl of warm adjectives and an extra How Vowels Work: I before E bedtime story* You just go on then, with your rectangle of pureed pig taint, and be on your way. Oh, and don't think Speech won't remember your rejection. Next time you've got a word on the tip of your tongue that you just can't think of, Speech will surely be nearby, looking at your word right there in paragraph 2, line 7, and silently laughing at you.
*O.O*
A job for emergency pants
I think it gets off on this... rotten program... just sits there... taunting me... with this (Not Responding) business... thinks I don't know it's smirking inwardly... like a grumpy housewife with one of those Not Tonight You Smell Like Ox Balls embroidered pillows...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)